Struggling

Excerpts from Psalm 94

12 Blessed is the man whom you discipline, O Lord,and whom you teach out of your law,13 to give him rest from days of trouble,until a pit is dug for the wicked.14 For the Lord will not forsake his people;he will not abandon his heritage;15 for justice will return to the righteous,and all the upright in heart will follow it.

17 If the Lord had not been my help,my soul would soon have lived in the land of silence.18 When I thought, “My foot slips,”your steadfast love, O Lord, held me up.19 When the cares of my heart are many,your consolations cheer my soul.

22 But the Lord has become my stronghold,and my God the rock of my refuge.

Well. The Lord IS good and does good. But the last few days I have been contemplating my navel and wondering WHERE God was in the midst of it. The depth of my depravity constantly amazes me. I know that I need to purposely look to Christ when I get like this but oh do I struggle to do just that!

I've been reading Spiritual Depression and have seen very clearly my own struggles in this book. Although I strongly believe in God's sovereignty, I struggle to understand my own stubborn will and the sin that works so powerfully in me to kill me daily.

I think that as a follower of Jesus Christ my idol is always...me...shocker there, huh?

I was reminded that loving Christ is acted out in my life by setting my affections firmly and solidly on Him and that the outcome of those rightly-placed affections is to then serve others. I get bummed out when I focus on me and not on Him and His people. As a friend quoted from Isaiah 58:

6 “Is not this the fast that I choose: to loose the bonds of wickedness,to undo the straps of the yoke,to let the oppressed go free,and to break every yoke?7 Is it not to share your bread with the hungryand bring the homeless poor into your house;when you see the naked, to cover him,and not to hide yourself from your own flesh?8 Then shall your light break forth like the dawn,and your healing shall spring up speedily;your righteousness shall go before you;the glory of the Lord shall be your rear guard.9 Then you shall call, and the Lord will answer;you shall cry, and he will say, ‘Here I am.’If you take away the yoke from your midst,the pointing of the finger, and speaking wickedness,10 if you pour yourself out for the hungryand satisfy the desire of the afflicted,then shall your light rise in the darknessand your gloom be as the noonday.11 And the Lord will guide you continuallyand satisfy your desire in scorched placesand make your bones strong;and you shall be like a watered garden,like a spring of water,whose waters do not fail.12 And your ancient ruins shall be rebuilt;you shall raise up the foundations of many generations;you shall be called the repairer of the breach,the restorer of streets to dwell in.

I 'fast' for my own spiritual gain, but the 'light' only comes when I share my 'bread' and 'bring the homeless poor' into my home.

How's this for a complicated little formula: setting my affections firmly on Christ leads to serving God's people (and sharing the Good News with pagans) which leads to me finding intention IN this service which leads to me acting out the love of Christ to others which leads to my joy which redounds to His glory.

Say that five times real fast.

Or as John Piper says: God is most glorified is us when we are most satisfied in Him. Amen.