The Ends...

"All things else, with regard to worthiness, importance, and excellence, are perfectly as nothing in comparison of him."  

Jonathan Edwards, The End for Which God Created the World

I read these words a few nights ago and my heart was moved. My long dormant passions stirred as I contemplated the meaning and potential power behind these words. I can't help but think of the following phrase from Edwards in thinking through what is most valuable. He used it a few paragraphs earlier in his dissertation:

"Whatsoever is good and valuable in itself, is worthy that God should value it with an ultimate respect."

Edwards' conclusion is that God, himself, is most valuable. That nothing compares to him. But is that my conclusion? Do I value God above all things...beings...people?

Here are just few things that I value more than him:

• reputation
• family
• sleep
• entertainment
• political opinions
• being right
• sex
• comfort

I could go on. Do I value God above all things...beings...people? The answer is obviously no. For anyone who knows me this has been abundantly clear in my life. Especially, over the last few dizzying and disorienting years. 

I have found value in comfort. Appearance (not looks mind you, but appearances of peace and wellness). Put togetherness (what a damnable lie that is). Certainly my own soul has had no shalom in it. Comfort in addiction. Numbness. Comfort in anger. Anger? Yes, anger. Unmitigated rage at the wrongs done to me (actually the whole time I was the one wronging).

I am the LORD; that is my name; my glory I give to no other, nor my praise to carved idols.  Isaiah 42:8

And I did try to take God's glory for my own. I stole it, like a child sneaking into their older sibling's room and stealing Halloween candy. How pathetic. In reality, of course, I didn't steal anything. I made my sole object of affection and attention, myself. Guess how that worked out? Yep, about that good.

I compromised my faith, one step at a time. Two steps. One day at a time. Two days. One word at a time. Two words. Until compromise composed all my steps, all my days, all my words. All my life. All my thoughts, words, and deeds. One big mess of compromised bullshit.

Therefore, while the promise of entering his rest still stands, let us fear lest any of you should seem to have failed to reach it. For good news came to us just as to them, but the message they heard did not benefit them, because they were not united by faith with those who listened. For we who have believed enter that rest, as he has said, “As I swore in my wrath, ‘They shall not enter my rest,’” although his works were finished from the foundation of the world. For he has somewhere spoken of the seventh day in this way: “And God rested on the seventh day from all his works.” And again in this passage he said, “They shall not enter my rest.” Since therefore it remains for some to enter it, and those who formerly received the good news failed to enter because of disobedience, again he appoints a certain day, “Today,” saying through David so long afterward, in the words already quoted, “Today, if you hear his voice, do not harden your hearts.” For if Joshua had given them rest, God would not have spoken of another day later on. So then, there remains a Sabbath rest for the people of God, for whoever has entered God's rest has also rested from his works as God did from his. Let us therefore strive to enter that rest, so that no one may fall by the same sort of disobedience. For the word of God is living and active, sharper than any two-edged sword, piercing to the division of soul and of spirit, of joints and of marrow, and discerning the thoughts and intentions of the heart. And no creature is hidden from his sight, but all are naked and exposed to the eyes of him to whom we must give account. Hebrews 4:1-13

At the end of the day it comes down to the question of what will I cherish? What has captured my affections? What, to put it simply, do I love? Or better yet, whom do I love?

I can tell you I have grown sick of loving myself. It has only led to pain and heartache. Questioning and hopelessness. Sleeplessness and sickness. Rebellion and treachery. Betrayal and hypocrisy.

I thank God that tonight he is beautiful and precious to me again. Truly all things are nothing in comparison to him. And in Christ Jesus I see his excellence most clearly.

Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things.Philippians 4:8

I think I will. I'll think about God.